Trends in Low Places

TILP 14: March Badness

The boys recorded this one last week, so we called our shot on a March Madness champion - we both missed by a country mile. Cush introduces the least necessary movie reboot of all time, Michael waxes poetic on religion, and we both talk about Pornhub. Maybe too much?

Highlights include:

• The boys dunk on March Madness 
• PSA: Don't read and drive.
• Gladiator II: Fightin' 'Round the World
• We rank some Dans.
• A Bible theme park adventure - now 100% less creepy.
• Michael gets his wires crossed on the Moses and Jesus origin stories.
• Breaking down the numbers on porn and dating.

TILP 13: Father Ralph's Demon Emporium

Though half the duo was profoundly hungover, the boys turn in a real banger of an episode. Michael fixes healthcare, Cush takes a surprising stance on demonic possession, and What’s On Weibo makes a surprisingly non-sexy return. We celebrate the sacred tunes of Journey.

Highlights include:

• Mike and Michael make bad choices [1:35]
• After All These Years, still Daylight Saving Time? [4:00]
• When You Love an International Women's Day [10:50]
• We go Separate Ways on demonic possession. [23:30]
• Who’s Crying Now? (It’s Cush, playing a VR demon experience. [33:33]
• Lovin’, Touchin’, Stabbin'. [33:40]
• Steve Bannon's Seinfeld money. [40:05]
• I’ll Be Alright With You, Chinese Police Robuts [41:50]
• The Party’s Over, pandas suck now. [47:35]
• Don’t Stop Bein’ Dumb, Canada [50:40]
• Journey joke. [56:05]

TILP 12: Danger Little Sweetmeat Jones

This week, the boys discuss the merits of weaponizing the dang moon. Michael reveals what happens when sex technology goes too far, Cush teaches Michael a new word, and we explore some of the finest baby names this side of a trash pile.

Highlights include:

• Cush is full of pink goo. [1:45]
• To the moon, Elon. [7:05]
• It’s about ethics in space rocks, Michael. [13:25]
• Wearable Technology in Low Places [15:50]
• Teleconferencing, but with dildos. [26:41]
• You’re dangerous, Mhavrych. [29:40]
• Venture deep into the storied lineage of the Sweetmeat clan. [34:23]
• How far would you go for a doctor’s note? [40:22]
• Looking for love in all the pun places. [48:45]
• DJ Pauly D doesn’t respect contracts. [56:50]

TILP 11: Welcome to Piña Coladaburg

Ostensibly the hosts of a show about current events, the boys forget to talk about anything current or relevant. Cush struggles to accept a world in which a live-action Cinderella movie exists. Michael uncovers gnome-based meth economies, and we chat for far too long about alcoholic malt beverages. Better step back, friend – this is New Kids on the Block turf.

Highlights include:

• Where carb bonanzas are a pleasure [1:00]
• 2017 gets into the murder business [2:15]
• The Cushing family’s dark history with While You Were Sleeping [7:20]
• The boys throw an #AaronsParty [11:05]
• Cinderella’s gaslight ball [19:55]
• What’s up with all these 90s, though? [24:41]
• The Smirnoff ISIS Counterinsurgency [32:35]
• Crank: High Gnomage [37:27]
• The worst party bus in history [47:50]
• Master-Pieces of Pig Theater [53:30]

TILP 10: That Girl is Poison

Welcome to the episode so nice, we recorded it twice. This week, we delve deep into the secret history of the world (spoiler alert: everything is fake and nothing matters). Michael introduces us to a man of utmost conviction and infinite misfortune. Cush discovers his dumb brain is full of dumb movie quotes. We explore the most ineffective corporate training of all time.

Highlights include:

• Turns out George Washington can tell a lie. [3:40]
• You know what else is a lie? Turns out, all of history. [6:15]
• The NBA All-Star Game, not just for sick dunks anymore. [17:20]
• World’s Funniest Home Accidental Assassinations [21:50]
• Hey. Japan. Can you slow it down on the game shows, please? [26:50]
• Some monkeys play nice. Some rip your face off. [38:00]
• Rabies? In my brain? It’s more likely than you think. [48:05]
• The corruption of American youth, one lifelike doll at a time. [52:45]
• I’ll take “Alex Trebek spits mad fire.” for 600. [60:30]

TILP 9.5: Trends in John Wick Places

We just watched John Wick Chapter 2, and felt it deserved its own episode. The boys examine John Wick's good, good murder, his thirst for vengeance, and celebrate that his dog survived until the end. Also, a dick may or may not have been chopped clean off. This has been Trends in John Wick Places, with your hosts John Wick and John Wick, with special guest, John Wick. 

TILP 9: All Hail Techno-Buddha

Love is in the air, and this Valentine’s Days the boys whipped up one hell of a horny episode. The boys explore alternative condom applications, Cush recounts his limited sexual education, and Michael draws a hard line on poop pranks. We take our first radical steps down the Noble Eightfold Path.

Highlights include:

• I left my heart (and shoes) in N’yaaahlins. [0:40]
• Condoms on your head. No, the other head. [7:15]
• Male birth control, yes please. [11:35]
• Sage fatherly advice. [17:53]
• The greatest generation wreckin’ fools. [24:38]
• We find poop in all the wrong places. [34:10]
• High on donuts. [38:22]
• TechnoBuddha drops that beat. [45:05]
• Michael Cushing fan club poll results! [51:50]

TILP 8: Fine Corn Cannibals

This week, the boys chat about the interpretative dancers who opened and closed the Lady Gaga concert. Michael votes with his wallet, Mike admits to some very light animal neglect in the name of love, and the boys explore alternative ocular health services. Also, BREAKING NEWS: Comcast is a garbage company with a garbage service.

• Super Bowl and The Wiser Bud [1:00]
• Where's the poop, Harry? [6:25]
• #Boycotts and #SquadGoals [12:25]
• Dating profile shenanigans [20:45]
• King’s Hawaiian Rolls > Breitbart News [31:10]
• Is that tongue on your HMO? [33:50]
• Breaking News: Teens are Dumb [42:40] (Sorry about the audio issues)
• Cannibal Hamsters [47:05]
• Operation Donut Drop [54:50]

TILP 7: They Don't Stop Coming

This week, the boys take a page out of the Indiana Jones playbook and get down to the important business of punching Nazis. Michael explores our grim future of pig-human hybrids, Mike ponders health food, and we play Smash Mouth for THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME (don’t hold us to that). We get our mouths on the tastiest trend: the newest creation from the Taco Bell test kitchen.

Highlights include:

• Michael reveals his search history [0:30]
• Modern day Captain Americas (Captains America?) [9:15]
• Planet of the Pigs? [20:45]
• Cowabeetus [27:20]
• Taco Bell does it again [33:10]
• Way too much of a good thing [43:29]
• The Michaels Face/Off [48:34]
• You may take my nuggets, but you'll never take my FREEEEDOMMM! [53:57]

Thanks to RoccoW for use of our theme song, Welcome. Check out Rocco on Bandcamp: roccow.bandcamp.com/album/-

TILP 6: All-Star, but with an Extra Bone

You gotta fight for your right…to remix Smash Mouth songs on YouTube. This week, when Mike goes low, Michael goes high. Michael espouses tyranny of the skies, Mike misunderstands basic male anatomy, and somehow Australia finds a new way to commit murder. The boys are joined by their first honest-to-goodness expert to dive into the incredible world of Japanese bidets. Everyone says “butt.” Like, a lot.

Highlights include:

• Women>>>>Trump [0:35]
• Smashmouth, but it's actually good [9:08]
• Toilet Talk, with Oded Eshel [18:08]
• Smashed knees, porn buffs and crowning babies in the friendly skies [27:44]
• Mike reveals the limits of Christian school anatomy education [37:46]
• Did Beyonce teach the world nothing?! [47:53]
• Australia has one more thing to kill you [54:53]
• The Official Michael Cushing Fan Club [60:38]

Thanks to RoccoW for use of our theme song, Welcome. Check out Rocco on Bandcamp: roccow.bandcamp.com/album/-