August 17, 2018

TILP 83: Off-Brand Whales

This week, the boys create the next great action franchise. Mike wishes all you perverts would stop sexualizing cryptids, Michael experiences a come to Jesus mayoment, and we all take a lil’ sip of whale-ball beer. It’s our best yet.
Highlights include:
  • Jim Bondwell and his chipmunk pals
  • Mayo please have another deathblow
  • Sweet Netscape memes
  • Ball beer
  • A TILP crowdsourced sex novella
  • I’ve Got a Toilet Ticket
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This week, the boys consider the physical manifestation of this horrible podcast. Michael keeps the two best stories until the end, Mike contracts a bad case of bacon brain, and we all band together to steal a dang shark.
Highlights include:
  • Michael is old
  • Michael Bay Podcast Movie
  • All that she wants is a Ghost Baby
  • Cat Mind Control
  • FMK: Cat, Rat, Sheep
  • Shark Heist
  • 92 Year Old Boners
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August 3, 2018

TILP 81: McHeist!

McHeist! This week, Michael walks us through the Hamburglar's boldest crime ever, Mike has his fill of Bigfoot erotica, and we learn that Tom Cruise has never been on the Internet, ever. A benevolent TILP God smiles His light upon us.
  • McHeist: The Stolen Cushing Pounds
  • McHeist 2: Ronald McMobster
  • McHeist 3: Publisher's Incarceration House
  • Horny for Bigfoot
  • Man the Poop Torpedoes
  • World Wide Cruise
  • The hubris of pool tuggin'
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This week, the boys immediately go off the rails with a coked-up Pikachu and never look back. Michael gets accepted into ninja school, Mike laments black market dino exchanges, and we all shlorp the bone soup of a stupid mummy. It's our best yet.
Highlights include:
  • Pikachua fingerblast explosion [1:45]
  • Teddy Ninjasvelt [6:30]
  • Escape to Crime [23:00]
  • Dumb Allosaurus Bones [33:00]
  • Milkshake Mummy [43:00]
  • 23 scoops of cannibalism! [54:40]
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In their horniest episode yet, the boys peep a bunch of really impressive hogs. Michael introduces the latest evolutionary marvel killed by Australia, Mike reveals the wonderful world of dinosaurotica, and damn do we just talk about dicks the whole time.
Highlights include:
  • POTUS, FLOTUS, or SCOTUS
  • Pounded in the butt by my own dinosaur bone
  • Frog Hogs
  • Work-crime quorums
  • Robo rectum? Damn near killed him.
  • Flaccid coffin super soaker
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This week the boys rack up some hefty Nigerian cyberbullying charges. Michael gets real nasty with some Double-D Divination, Mike blazes one for the Lord, and we take prisons to fantasyland. It's our best yet.
Highlights include:
  • Cotton holidays [1:00]
  • Welcome to weed church, losers. [5:00]
  • The pendulous breasts of fate [13:00]
  • 274 counts of cyberbullying! [20:30]
  • The wages of TED is death. [32:30]
  • PrisonBreak: Westeros[42:40]
  • Dancing with kittens [52:45]
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This week, the boys break down the hottest food trends: crotch ovens and hot dog water. Mike admits his fear of death at the hands of the Almighty Father, Michael ponders the potency of Big Dick Energy, and we’re finally calling it – The Rock is a real-life movie star, you guys! It’s our best yet.
Highlights include:
  • Rabbit, rabbit!
  • Hot dog exit strategies
  • That tasty Welch’s God Juice
  • Brick-lined crotch oven pizza
  • Hot dog water
  • Big dick energy
  • Porn in all the wrong places
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This week, the boys catch all the buzz around the World Cup and propose a new line of public-use sex clothes. Michael serves up a hot slice of Greg, Mike admits he’s kind of here for Space Force, and we massage our vacation livers. It’s our best show yet.
Highlights include:
  • Vacation Liver Orgy House [2:30]
  • Buzzing those bits. [10:15]
  • Dangerously insane [28:20]
  • Enter the Chicken Ring Hellmouth.
  • The Inaugural Taste of Greg [42:00]
  • POOPINT [57:40]
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Here you go, ya nasty babies. This week, the boys delve into the secret world of toilet espionage. Mike does a fitness, Michael questions your journalistic integrity, and we take a two-country global tour of flapjacks. It’s our best yet.
Highlights include:
  • Interntional Burger Boy [0:45]
  • True Fitness Lies [6:50]
  • Mission: Impoosible [9:40]
  • Worst. Hulk. Ever. [24:00]
  • 8-armed mouthbabies. [31:20]
  • Libertarian Pizza Dream[37:50]
  • Hey science? Maybe chill with the murderbots? [46:00]
  • TILP Trinity [58:00]
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This week, the boys revisit a low-hanging TILP legend. Mike digs deep into Cushing family lore to reveal a childhood ursine menace, Michael meets a joke-telling robot that will take our jobs, and we wonder why you put that thang up there. Somehow Operation Dumbo Drop shows up.
Highlights include:
  • Old timey HR [1:30]
  • International House of Bad Publicity Stunts [4:15]
  • Roto-rooty, fresh and fruity [12:30]
  • Hanger stakes [20:30]
  • World Record Hats [23:15]
  • Two for poo. [37:00]
  • The Wellington Bear [48:30]
  • Leave comedy to the professionals. [53:00]
  • United Dinos of America [58:00]
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