Welcome to the episode so nice, we recorded it twice. This week, we delve deep into the secret history of the world (spoiler alert: everything is fake and nothing matters). Michael introduces us to a man of utmost conviction and infinite misfortune. Cush discovers his dumb brain is full of dumb movie quotes. We explore the most ineffective corporate training of all time.
- Turns out George Washington can tell a lie. [3:40]
- You know what else is a lie? Turns out, all of history. [6:15]
- The NBA All-Star Game, not just for sick dunks anymore. [17:20]
- World’s Funniest Home Accidental Assassinations [21:50]
- Hey. Japan. Can you slow it down on the game shows, please? [26:50]
- Some monkeys play nice. Some rip your face off. [38:00]
- Rabies? In my brain? It’s more likely than you think. [48:05]
- The corruption of American youth, one lifelike doll at a time. [52:45]
- I’ll take “Alex Trebek spits mad fire.” for 600. [60:30]
We just watched John Wick Chapter 2, and felt it deserved its own episode. The boys examine John Wick's good, good murder, his thirst for vengeance, and celebrate that his dog survived until the end. Also, a dick may or may not have been chopped clean off. This has been Trends in John Wick Places, with your hosts John Wick and John Wick, with special guest, John Wick.
Love is in the air, and this Valentine’s Days the boys whipped up one hell of a horny episode. The boys explore alternative condom applications, Cush recounts his limited sexual education, and Michael draws a hard line on poop pranks. We take our first radical steps down the Noble Eightfold Path.
- I left my heart (and shoes) in N’yaaahlins. [0:40]
- Condoms on your head. No, the other head. [7:15]
- Male birth control, yes please. [11:35]
- Sage fatherly advice. [17:53]
- The greatest generation wreckin’ fools. [24:38]
- We find poop in all the wrong places. [34:10]
- High on donuts. [38:22]
- TechnoBuddha drops that beat. [45:05]
- Michael Cushing fan club poll results! [51:50]
This week, the boys chat about the interpretative dancers who opened and closed the Lady Gaga concert. Michael votes with his wallet, Mike admits to some very light animal neglect in the name of love, and the boys explore alternative ocular health services. Also, BREAKING NEWS: Comcast is a garbage company with a garbage service.
- Super Bowl and The Wiser Bud [1:00]
- Where's the poop, Harry? [6:25]
- #Boycotts and #SquadGoals [12:25]
- Dating profile shenanigans [20:45]
- King’s Hawaiian Rolls > Breitbart News [31:10]
- Is that tongue on your HMO? [33:50]
- Breaking News: Teens are Dumb [42:40] (Sorry about the audio issues)
- Cannibal Hamsters [47:05]
- Operation Donut Drop [54:50]
This week, the boys take a page out of the Indiana Jones playbook and get down to the important business of punching Nazis. Michael explores our grim future of pig-human hybrids, Mike ponders health food, and we play Smash Mouth for THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME (don’t hold us to that). We get our mouths on the tastiest trend: the newest creation from the Taco Bell test kitchen.
- Michael reveals his search history [0:30]
- Modern day Captain Americas (Captains America?) [9:15]
- Planet of the Pigs? [20:45]
- Cowabeetus [27:20]
- Taco Bell does it again [33:10]
- Way too much of a good thing [43:29]
- The Michaels Face/Off [48:34]
- You may take my nuggets, but you'll never take my FREEEEDOMMM! [53:57]
Thanks to RoccoW for use of our theme song, Welcome. Check out Rocco on Bandcamp: roccow.bandcamp.com/album/-