This week, we fall straight down the Juggalo hole. Michael puts his deductive skills to the test, Cush fights for the only acceptable pumpkins in August, and we find the only good time in a Porta-Potty. Seriously though, we can’t stop talking about Juggalos in this one.
Highlights include:
  • A millennial by any other name. [2:25]
  • The Tumnus Disco Experience [6:00]
  • Matchbees 20 [14:00]
  • A Pay-Per-View event for everyone. [19:00]
  • Ratpocalypse and toad salads. [31:00
  • Maybe stick to sex tips, Cosmo. [40:05]
  • Winning the war before it starts. [46:30]
  • The Tayluminati. [51:35]
  • Back off, you stupid orange gourds. [55:40]
  • Just the faqs, please. [61:00]
This week, our cup runneth over with delicious conspiracy theories. Michael takes his last rites from the world's dumbest robot, Mike revels in the second coming of our Lord Steven, and the boys finally realize why everyone loves Pitbull so damn much. We finally say what everyone's thinking: "Let's blow up that grumpy old moon of ours."

Highlights include:

  • Snowflake boys unite. [3:00]
  • Let's blow up that stupid, nasty old moon. [5:00]
  • Steven H. Christ! [11:50]
  • Get your AI to Mars [22:45]
  • Hello human, I sense pizza-hunger. [29:00]
  • Pitbull's Eternal Underpass Party. [38:00]
  • Alternative FAQs. [44:30]
  • The life-changing magic of thief-cleaning [51:00]
  • Bridge jumpers, baby mailers and millennial crisis. [55:30]
This week, we chat a little bit about Charlottesville and segue from those human dildos to actual sex robots. Michael wishes for a brighter Keith Richards timeline. Cush tries to be Cockney, lands in Australia. We air out some hamster crimes.

Highlights include:

  • Charlottesville, the ACLU, and human garbage. [2:00]
  • Cush gets a 4:20 education. [9:50]
  • Michael does some tortilla sins. [19:20]
  • Would you like to play a (sex) game? [27:00]
  • For the discerning gentlemen. [32:40]
  • You failed us again, Keith Richards. [38:00]
  • Dale Bearnhardt and Cheez-It’s last ride. [43:00]
  • Glittermom’d! [52:45]
This week, we take a break from ruining your childhood favorites to ruin the Bloomin’ Onion. Sorry, they’re Satanic now. Michael invites everyone to a family exorcism, Cush lays plans to become king of Skynet, and we wonder how long it would take us to become jerks in Westworld. THE SAND MYSTERY DEEPENS.

Highlights include:

  • Love is dead, and Marvel Studios killed it. [1:05]
  • #AaronsParty starts swinging. [4:20]
  • Possibly the worst contraceptive of all time. [7:30]
  • Science editors having a good time. [21:50]
  • Looks like you're trying to destroy humanity. Want some help with that? [25:45]
  • Green investments [35:20]
  • Hipster barfights [44:00]
  • Exorcism tomorrow? START PLAN. [47:30]
  • Footsteps in frosting. [61:25]
August 3, 2017

TILP 33: Cocaine Poolboys

This week, we bring a special guest onto the show to explore the Cushing family’s brush with a notorious Florida drug queenpin, Michael’s eyes are opened to the deeply Christian nature of every 90s rock band, and Cush connects the dot on the highly sexual global conspiracy emanating from the Hundred Acre Wood.
  • The horrifying Bezos dog mill. [2:00]
  • These cookies are so good I can’t feel my face. [10:40]
  • Winnie the Pooh: Weibo hero, Illuminati member, and insatiable sexual deviant. [30:30]
  • Hey asteroids, let’s bring it on back. Finish the mission. [49:50]
  • Hater dater data. [54:50]
  • Blessings from Dr. Coppertone. [60:15]
  • Was there an owl? [64:50]
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