This week, love is in the air...and the water, the dirt, and the train station. Michael forms a very deep connection with Mother Earth, Mike gets space insurance, and we celebrate the smartest concert-goer of all time. Seriously though, we laugh at eco-sexuals for a solid 30 minutes.
Highlights include:
  • A certified shrub banger. [4:30]
  • Lovebugs and sex witches [14:30]
  • All aboard the love train. [26:00]
  • The friendly green skies [32:00]
  • Memory short enough to forget you're lonely. [38:40]
  • Hot tub time machinations. [42:00]
  • The Fur Baby Economy [47:45]
  • Brilliant boozy booty [52:50]
  • Never gonna give up this download. [59:40]
This week, the boys practice their used car sales pitches. Mike worries that clowns may have damaged their brand beyond repair, Michael investigates a very messy date, and now we’re running for mayor, and Hell's coming with us.
Highlights include:
  • No. 1 All Star [4:30]
  • Cover my tab? [6:40]
  • Sorry clowns, this is pretty on-brand. [12:45]
  • Peppa Pig’s piss-poor proposal. [16:55]
  • Head Down, Windows Up, That's the Way I Get My Poo [20:30]
  • Simulated unicorn love. [30:40]
  • Welcome to Hell, peasants. [36:25]
  • Please don’t trust chug. [44:00]
  • Waffle House special forces. [51:30]
  • Time to cut those strings. [55:00]
This week, we fall straight down the Juggalo hole. Michael puts his deductive skills to the test, Cush fights for the only acceptable pumpkins in August, and we find the only good time in a Porta-Potty. Seriously though, we can’t stop talking about Juggalos in this one.
Highlights include:
  • A millennial by any other name. [2:25]
  • The Tumnus Disco Experience [6:00]
  • Matchbees 20 [14:00]
  • A Pay-Per-View event for everyone. [19:00]
  • Ratpocalypse and toad salads. [31:00
  • Maybe stick to sex tips, Cosmo. [40:05]
  • Winning the war before it starts. [46:30]
  • The Tayluminati. [51:35]
  • Back off, you stupid orange gourds. [55:40]
  • Just the faqs, please. [61:00]
This week, our cup runneth over with delicious conspiracy theories. Michael takes his last rites from the world's dumbest robot, Mike revels in the second coming of our Lord Steven, and the boys finally realize why everyone loves Pitbull so damn much. We finally say what everyone's thinking: "Let's blow up that grumpy old moon of ours."

Highlights include:

  • Snowflake boys unite. [3:00]
  • Let's blow up that stupid, nasty old moon. [5:00]
  • Steven H. Christ! [11:50]
  • Get your AI to Mars [22:45]
  • Hello human, I sense pizza-hunger. [29:00]
  • Pitbull's Eternal Underpass Party. [38:00]
  • Alternative FAQs. [44:30]
  • The life-changing magic of thief-cleaning [51:00]
  • Bridge jumpers, baby mailers and millennial crisis. [55:30]
This week, we chat a little bit about Charlottesville and segue from those human dildos to actual sex robots. Michael wishes for a brighter Keith Richards timeline. Cush tries to be Cockney, lands in Australia. We air out some hamster crimes.

Highlights include:

  • Charlottesville, the ACLU, and human garbage. [2:00]
  • Cush gets a 4:20 education. [9:50]
  • Michael does some tortilla sins. [19:20]
  • Would you like to play a (sex) game? [27:00]
  • For the discerning gentlemen. [32:40]
  • You failed us again, Keith Richards. [38:00]
  • Dale Bearnhardt and Cheez-It’s last ride. [43:00]
  • Glittermom’d! [52:45]
This week, we take a break from ruining your childhood favorites to ruin the Bloomin’ Onion. Sorry, they’re Satanic now. Michael invites everyone to a family exorcism, Cush lays plans to become king of Skynet, and we wonder how long it would take us to become jerks in Westworld. THE SAND MYSTERY DEEPENS.

Highlights include:

  • Love is dead, and Marvel Studios killed it. [1:05]
  • #AaronsParty starts swinging. [4:20]
  • Possibly the worst contraceptive of all time. [7:30]
  • Science editors having a good time. [21:50]
  • Looks like you're trying to destroy humanity. Want some help with that? [25:45]
  • Green investments [35:20]
  • Hipster barfights [44:00]
  • Exorcism tomorrow? START PLAN. [47:30]
  • Footsteps in frosting. [61:25]
August 3, 2017

TILP 33: Cocaine Poolboys

This week, we bring a special guest onto the show to explore the Cushing family’s brush with a notorious Florida drug queenpin, Michael’s eyes are opened to the deeply Christian nature of every 90s rock band, and Cush connects the dot on the highly sexual global conspiracy emanating from the Hundred Acre Wood.
  • The horrifying Bezos dog mill. [2:00]
  • These cookies are so good I can’t feel my face. [10:40]
  • Winnie the Pooh: Weibo hero, Illuminati member, and insatiable sexual deviant. [30:30]
  • Hey asteroids, let’s bring it on back. Finish the mission. [49:50]
  • Hater dater data. [54:50]
  • Blessings from Dr. Coppertone. [60:15]
  • Was there an owl? [64:50]
July 28, 2017

TILP 32: Pollo Sensual

This week, Michael introduces a brand new fashion craze, Cush calls out the cowards of #DriveByDunkChallenge, and the great Atlanta sand mystery deepens. A raccoon meets a grim end, and we find the weirdest video on the Internet. We did it.
  • Michael gets his giblets checked. [4:20]
  • Let’s just not, HBO. [9:15]
  • Sir, please turn off those headlights. [15:30]
  • They see me (not) rollin’, they hatin’. [26:00]
  • The sand mysteries. [28:25]
  • Do you want rabies? Because that’s how you get rabies. [31:20]
  • Well, that’s one way to fertilize an egg. [38:40]
  • Spicey's Feisty Ice Heist. [51:30]
This week, the boys throw a grim #AaronsParty, revel in old commercials, and struggle to find sympathy for the skydevil. Mike takes payment technology to the next level, Michael brings your eyes to Flavortown by way of hell, and every listener owes us 1,000 hours of community service. Ha! Gotcha, suckers.
  • The Game of Sheerans [1:15]
  • #AaronsParty takes a dark turn. [3:45]
  • 411, not just for olds. [8:00]
  • Terms and Conditions? Never heard of ‘em. [13:05]
  • Welcome to Skylaw, dummy. [18:55]
  • Short, gross passwords. [27:00]
  • Balloony Bin [34:10]
  • It’s toilet time, a-holes. [41:30]
  • The poop is out there. [44:35]
  • Sunny Flavortown beaches. [50:15]
This week, we explore the Flat Earth civil war and geriatric social media. Michael introduces the world's most devious 10-year-old, Cush gets a hankerin’ for seitan, and we talk about punching kids for the 5th episode in a row.

Highlights include:

  • Cush’s fun weekend plans [2:25]
  • #Buttholegate [4:50]
  • ‘Cause we’re all creeeeeps. [14:40]
  • Crisis on Infinite Flat Earths [20:05]
  • Voice-to-Tweet Technology [27:05]
  • Cards Against Your Childhood [33:20]
  • Needledick Penisgun [35:55]
  • Celebrity crushbones [43:45]
  • False flag murder diary [52:00]
  • #Disguisting #allwomen [64:25]

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